Do you ever find yourself replaying mistakes in your mind, feeling that familiar wave of guilt or self-criticism?
If so, you are not alone.
Many awakening individuals are deeply aware of their inner world — but this awareness can sometimes turn into harsh self-judgment. The beautiful news is that there is a gentle and empowering way to shift this pattern.
And the key is simpler than you might think: awareness and choice.
Awareness Is the First Step
Before anything can change, it must first be seen.
Often, self-judgment runs as an automatic pattern in the mind. It feels so familiar that we assume, “This is just the way I am.”
But the moment you notice the pattern — truly notice it — something powerful happens.
You create space.
And in that space… a new choice becomes possible.
Why Feelings Alone Can Keep Us Stuck
Many people believe they must wait to feel compassionate toward themselves.
But if we rely only on feelings, we might wait forever.
Because the truth is:
Self-compassion is first a choice, and only later does it become a feeling.
When we consciously choose to be gentle with ourselves — even while guilt or discomfort is still present — we begin to rewire the old pattern at a deeper level.
A Personal Example: Choosing Compassion in a Difficult Moment
I experienced this very clearly during a festival I attended with my partner.
We were in our camper van with a beautiful awning attached. At one point, I offered to boil the kettle for some friends — and in the meantime, I stepped away for a quick chat.
Suddenly we heard shouting:
“Tent on fire! Tent on fire!”
It was our awning.
Thankfully, we quickly put the fire out. But inside me, a wave of guilt and shock arose immediately.
Even though my partner was incredibly kind and compassionate toward me… the uncomfortable feeling remained inside my body.
And that’s when something important became clear.
External reassurance was helpful — but it was not enough.
The Turning Point: Internal Self-Acceptance
In that moment, I made a conscious choice.
I chose to embody self-acceptance.
Not because I felt peaceful — I didn’t.
Not because the guilt had vanished — it hadn’t.
But because I realised something profound:
The source of true acceptance must be internal.
So I allowed the feelings of guilt and shock to move through me.
I listened to the practical lesson (never leave fire unattended in a tent!).
And at the same time, I chose to be gentle with myself.
That choice created a deep shift.
What Happens When You Choose Self-Compassion
Every time you consciously choose self-compassion:
- The inner critic softens
- Old emotional wounds begin to heal
- The nervous system relaxes
- A sense of wholeness starts to return
You begin to move from living primarily in the ego mind…
into living more fully in the heart.
And over time, something beautiful happens:
It becomes easier and more natural to meet yourself with kindness.
A Gentle Reflection for You
Today, I invite you to try something simple.
The next time self-criticism arises, pause and gently ask yourself:
“What if I chose compassion here instead?”
You don’t have to force a feeling.
Just make the choice — softly, kindly — and notice what begins to shift.
If You’d Like to Go Deeper
If you would like support in freeing yourself from worry and overthinking and learning how to harmonise your mind, I’ve created a free video series to guide you.
https://www.yourawakeningpath.com/free-video-series-harmonise-your-mind-landing-page/
With love and many blessings,
Dr Paola Bisicchia
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